Warrior Couples One-shots
by Hellisreal
Summary: REQUESTS OPEN! Here's a compilation of one-shots centered around various warrior cat couples (canon or not).
1. Cinderpelt x Scourge

This chapter was brought to you by Solorit.

Have a cold? Just solor it. (copyrighted)

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 **ScourgeXCinderpelt**

Cinderpelt walked around the old forest lugging along her manservant, Fireheart, around with her. They were looking for herbs, like always.

Meanwhile, an unspecified black cat that was maybe related to Fireheart was stalking the two Thunderclan cats. His claws were unsheathed, already ready to kill. He was about to pounce when a flash of gray fur caught his eye.

"Oh my nonexistence religion! She's the most beautiful she-cat I've ever laid eyes on." Scourge meowed to himself. Since the cats gave a rat's ass about personality, he was instantly in love.

"Excuse me" Scourge called out to the strangers.

Fireheart spun around and saw the intruder on the clan's territory.

"Want to join Thunderclan?" he asked the evil looking invader.

"Ight mate."

So Firestar and Cinderheart lead the leader of Bloodclan to the camp.

"Fireheart what the fuck!" Bluestar called to her deputy. But Scourge didn't care about anyone else. He was only focused on his animalistic instinct to reproduce.

Like a creeper, the bone wearing tom followed Cinderpelt back to the medicine cat's den.

"Hey hot stuff" Scourge flirted.

Cinderpelt patted the fire out of her fur "Hello new guy"

"I have a fever that can only a piece of beautiful gray-furred ass can cure"

"Sorry but Yellowfang died in the most current Thunderclan drama" Cinderpelt replied. She couldn't help but look at his collar. The smell of decay was Cinderpelt fetish.

"Oh, I see" Scourge meowed in disappointment "By the way s'up with your leg?"

"RUDE!" Cinderpelt yelled "Ableist scum!"

"Nonexistence Jesus! I just wanted to know why you haven't healed yourself."

Cinderpelt's fur still remained bristled "Because it's broken beyond repair."

"Then why didn't you just make a living sacrifice to our lord and savior Satan?"

Cinderpelt's green/blue/yellow eyes widen "You can do that?"

"Uh duh"

Cinderpelt was very tempted but couldn't do it. As Thunderclan cat who was not Tigerclaw, Cinderpelt was entitled to be morally above everyone else.

"Black cat that I still don't know the name of...I can't. I can't take a life for such a selfish reason."

Scourge tipped his head in confusion "Who said we were taking a life. We going to kill Heavystep."

"Oh"

So the lovely couple preformed sacrificial ritual to heal Cinderpelt's leg. Stupidly, Cinderpelt was immediately made a warrior. Half the clan died from the lack of a medicine cat.

Many moons later…

Scourgestar strolled through the wasteland that had become Thunderclan's territory. He stumbled across a functionally footed she-cat.

"Cinderpelt" he called out with a lot of meaning "I have to tell you something."

Cinderpelt used her back leg to walk over to Thunderclan's new leader. Her breath was stuck in her throat as she caught a whiff of the tom's collar. "What is it overlord of all?"

Scourgestar nearly blushed at the cute pet name, but villains don't have blood to blush with. So instead he stared deeply and seductively into his crush's eyes.

"Cinderpelt I...I feel an intense urge to bone you!" he confessed.

Tears ran down Cinderpelt's cheeks, because cats can cry now.

"I love you too Scourgestar" Cinderpelt said with a voice oozing with love.

Scourgestar and Cinderpelt touched noses. Enjoying each other's warmth under the pale light of the moon. Their tails intertwined and their fur brushed against each other. This was the Warrior's equivalent to ferociously making out. It was a big leap in the relationship but the lovers didn't care. They had the libido of a 16 year old boy.

All was good. Too good.

In one swift motion, Scourgestar ripped Cinderpelt in half with his dog claws that he somehow had.

"Love...WHY?" Cinderpelt screamed in agony.

"Because Tigerclaw"

"What?" were Cinderpelt's last words.

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 **A/N:** This chapter was very angsty. If you cried and then listened to Fall Out Boy please give this story a kudos. If you didn't, stop being such a little pussy. Thank you and good night.


	2. Jayfeather x Alderpaw

**Alderpaw x Jayfeather**

Alderpaw looked up at his mentor. His sleek gray pelt shone in the pale dawn light.

"Hello there…h-handsome" Alderpaw whimpered in a small voice.

Little did Alderpaw know that Jayfeather had abnormal hearing and heard his flirtatious comment.

"Oh" Jayfeather exclaimed.

"Hmm is something wrong…senpai" Alderpaw whispered the last part. He was madly in love with his blind stick-loving cousin.

Again Jayfeather's sensitive hearing picked up the too young cat's meow.

"I love you!" Someone in the medicine cat's den shouted.

"NOOOO" Alderpaw cried. He was going to lose Jayfeather. He ran into the clearing, knowing what he had to do. He couldn't let his fear hold him back from true happiness.

"All cats old enough old catch their own prey meet beneath highledge for an important meeting."

In seconds the Thunderclan cats pooled into the clearing, sensing the urgency in Alderpaw's voice, they came prepared for battle.

"Is it shlumpclan again?" Firestar cried from the grave.

All the loyal warriors tensed in fear. Purdy, on the other paw, was no longer afraid of death after the shit he's been through.

"Cats of Thunderclan I have gathered you here today to share with you a prophecy from Starclan."

All the clan cats gasped except Lionblaze and Jayfeather who were like so chill. Dovewing gasped and looked expectantly at her former mentor to do all the work for her.

"Together we've faced so much. I wasn't alive for most of the books but I know through the constant flash backs that the clans have pulled together. We've crossed over mountains when the twolegs fucked our shit up. We've lost great warriors: Firestar… And we've continued to fight to survive another day. It may not always be easy. Sometimes we wanted to give up and cry. But we have a little fire inside us that keeps us going."

Graystripe let a single tear fall and thought about his brave daughter Mistystar.

"Through hard times and good times, we have stuck together and put aside our differences. So I'm asking you to put aside my differences."

All the cats leaned forward in suspense.

"I'M GAY FOR JAYFEATHER"

In the back Berrynose screamed aloud "AND I'M IN LOVE WITH CHERRYFALL"

"Huh?"

Berrynose eyes widened "I don't know, I just wanted...to join in too."

All the cats gasped. Poppyfrost stood up and meowed "So it was Shlumpclan".

The clearing broke out into chaos and anarchy. The cats mad dashed to the entrance, calling out in battle yowls. Being useless, Jayfeather didn't follow but instead looked up at the cat that confessed his love.

Alderpaw slowly padded toward his crush. "I'm sorry it had to come out like this. My love for you burns like the fire that almost ended your life causing your fake mother to reveal a long kept secret that your life is a lie. That you'll never be loved by a mother and father and your blood is as filthy as Ashfur himself. I love you as much as I hate myself!"

Jayfeather's eyes twinkled in the moonlight.

"When did it become night?" Purdy pointed out the inconsistence. Once he became self-aware he was pulled from the world.

Jayfeather was like "Alderpaw" Alderpaw's heart pounded wildly "I've always known your feelings for meow."

The young apprentice breathed in sharply.

"The way you whisper my name in your sleep, the way you have a shrine of me, the way your eyes light up when I walk into a room, the way your fur bristles when I mention stick. It was obvious."

Alderpaw felt his heart soar. "Do you remember that one time when I was a kit and said I had fever? I was pretending in order to watch you sleep."

"Hot af" -Purdy 2k16

"I've always tried to impress you by memorizing herbs. Everything I've ever done has been for you! I never want to let you down. So let me be there for you!

"No."

Fin

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 **A/N:** I'm taking requests guys so comment on what couple you want to see next. I worked so hard so please review and favorite.


	3. Needlepaw x Alderpaw

This was requested by two people.

Solorit and Pineflower

objectophilia is the sexual attraction to inanimate objects. Talk to your therapist if you pine for a flower. (I'm so freaking funny).

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 **Alderpaw x Needlepaw**

Two abandoned little kitties walked alongside a plot river. The two of them were returning from a mission that they Dovewing-leveled failed. In total embarrassment, the rest of their team ditched them.

"It's a hard life for those that aren't part of a prophecy" Alderpaw sighed.

"Says the cat that's related to Firestar" Needlepaw snorted "You're probably a reincarnation of a lion, have nine lives, and can teleport through space."

"Haha yeah" the brown in fan art/ dark ginger in reality tom replied. He then softly whispered "You beautiful beast."

Alderpaw had a nervous tic where he flirted quietly when he was near his crush. It was touched upon in the last chapter. Luckily, Needlepaw was some Shadowclan scum and was more ordinary than an anime protagonist. In other words, she conveniently didn't hear him.

"So what are we going to do now?" the Shadowclan apprentice asked.

"Isn't it obvious? We follow the river down stream and then make our way back to the clans by going the opposite way we came."

They ended up in a forest somewhere in Italy.

"So what are we going to do now?" Needlepaw repeated.

"Uhhhh"

Needlepaw sighed "Listen Alderpaw, let's just admit we are never getting back home and learn to live in this completely different country."

Alderpaw whimpered meekly and shook his head "N-no we don't have to give up. I can ask Starclan for hawlp."

Needlepaw placed her tail tip on Alderpaw's shoulder. "Alderpaw, sweetie, we didn't even spend a week in Skyclan before you gave up on that. Do you really think you can do this?"

"Yes"

Needlepaw sighed "Listen, as the man of this relationship, I say we just make this our new home."

The sexist comment combined with a hit to Alderpaw's masculinity was too much for the medicine cat. He fainted. Needlepaw resisted the urge to slit his throat and instead made a makeshift den and two nests. She dragged Alderpaw's unconscious body inside the shelter.

That night, Alderpaw did as he promised and went to deus ex machina clan. He met up with his dead Grandma.

"Sandstorm! Sandstorm! Me and Needlepaw are far away from the clans and don't know how to get back" he yelled frantically.

"Yes I know" the ginger she-cat closed her eyes "I have a confession to make, I may have been responsible for your situation."

"...what?"

"I used my newfound jesus powers to mess up your sense of smell so you youngsters couldn't find your way back to the lake" Sandstorm explained.

"W-why!?"

"To get you and Needlepaw to hook up"

Alderpaw looked up at the dead cat "Nice!"

The two fist bumped until morning.

Waking up, Needlepaw shook the morning dew off her nondescript colored pelt. She leaned down and chucked up a hairball. Alderpaw watched her from his nest. His pants got tighter at the sight of it.

"Needlepaw" Alderpaw's cheeks blushed "I want to wake up next to you everyday."

"Uh yeah, we're kind of stranded" the ex-Shadowclan apprentice sassed.

"B-but even if we weren't. If we made it back to the clans a-and we were with our family and clanmates again. I'd want to wake up beside you. If we were still trapped in Skyclan I'd still want to be with you in the mornings. Hell, if we were born as anything else: be it bears, twolegs, snakes, dogs, whatever! I'd want to be with you. Don't you feel the same?"

Needlepaw blinked "If we were back with our clans, I'd claw your face off in the next border skirmish."

"I love you too!" Alderpaw exclaimed and leapt into his 'we are the only cats for miles so I guess we'll be lovers' paws.

"I guess we'll have to start our own clan" Needlepaw shrugged "Time to make babies."

Unfortunately Alderpaw was born with a disease called Erinhunteritis. The disease makes it impossible for male medicine cats to have babies. So Needlepaw and Alderpaw caught greencough and died.

The End


	4. Barley x Ravenpaw

**Hello everyone! So you're probably wondering where the heck I've been. Well here's the thing, I was prepared to let this die.**

 **I was willing to let this just be a mistake me and my friend made at 3 a.m after an entire day of dealing with drunk adults at a fourth of july party. But NOO! You guys had to _ENJOY_** **this** **crap and leave _Reviews_ and there are requests I haven't done so I felt _"GUITLY_** ".

 **So here you go you sinners.**

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Ravenpaw x Barley

"Man nothing makes me gayer than sleeping next to my bud ,Ravenpaw, on this pile o' hay" Barley one day randomly blurted out.

Ravenpaw shot him a look "What?"

"Oh nothing just talking to myself" the farm cat replied, he then curled up into a fuzz ball and went to sleep.

This excuse would have probably worked if it was any other cat, but because Ravenpaw was born with a special ability called common sense (i.e how he realized Tigerclaw was evil) he could tell his best friend was in love with him.

Ravenpaw did the animu blush. He couldn't believe that his friend was in love with the only cat he's been contact with for years. Then the raven furred cat's common sense kicked in and he understood why.

Barley didn't really love him. He was in love with the only boneable animal in his location. A pretty she-cat could come along and replace him in a heartbeat. Feeling depressed, Ravenpaw sank into a deep sleep.

"Time to wake up sleepy head" Ravenpaw was awaken by a gentle purr.

Opening his eyes, Ravenpaw saw that a very handsome tom cat was towered over him. His whatever colored eyes sparkled in the faint dawn light. In human terms it was the equivalent of Ravenpaw waking up to find Barley shirtless in his bed.

"Hehe morning nya!" Barley meowed.

Ravenpaw's heart lept out of his chest, literally. He couldn't take this torture anymore.

"Barley" Ravenpaw asked softly "Do you have a thing for me?"

"No shit nya OWO"

Ravenpaw gulped "Okay first of all, stop that. Second of all, I don't think you really like me. I mean, why would you like me? I'm a coward. Like remeber the time when I was a small child and I left the starved, war crazy clan to live in sheltered, mouse-stocked barn? Why would you love an idiot like me?"

"Are we...are we taking the angst route?" the sexy spotted cat asked to no one in particular "Listen Ravenpaw, no offense but I'm literally your only option."

"Yeah that's the problem. We should find true love, not settle for each other" Ravenpaw wrapped his tail around his paws.

"Are we not in love? Ravenpaw we've been sharing a nest, watching the sunset together, and sharing tongues for moons? The heck did you think was going on?"

"Uhhhhh, bros being bros?"

Barley facepalmed/ taildrooped "Dang it Ravenpaw, the hetreo clans brainwashed you. But listen, those losers are at the lake and the Erin Hunter gods went with them. We have a chance now. You just have to open your heart."

"Barely…" Ravenpaw looked at the shunning, male, possible gay lover in front of him. "I'll try."

Purring with delight, Barley embraced his new boyfriend. The farm cat wrapped his tail around the smaller tom which was a hug (I guess?). For the first time in his life, Ravenpaw felt wanted and loved.

Then he suddenly remembered the last cat he trusted turned out to be hitler kitty.

"No!" Ravenpaw's common senses started going crazy "This is just what the writers want!"

Before Barley could question him, Ravenpaw dashed out the barn. He ran from his feelings like Sonic the hedgehog. Faster and faster until his was the old Shadowclan territory.

"Ravenpaw!" Barley called after him.

The black tom stopped at the edge of the Thunder Path. Barely was on the other side of the path, the Windclan side. It was a perfect metaphor for their relationship. (Here's a freebie for everyone who's doing a dialectical journal)

"I can't my love!" Ravenpaw called to him "I have a traumatic backstory that caused me to have trust issues and be emotionally unstable."

"Welcome to the warrior cats' universe, you dramatic little dung" Barley yelled back "Did you miss the part where I said the Erin gods were busy ruining lives thousand miles away? We'll be fine."

Ravenpaw looked into his eyes. "You promise?" he asked sounding like a sacred kit.

"Promise" Barley purred, his strong, reassuring voice comforted the exThundclan cat.

Barley set a single paw on the black surface, trying to reunite with his beloved. Suddenly fifty conveniently timed monsters all ran over Barley.

~~Many moons later~~

On a peaceful farm three kits were playing amongst the hay. On the haystack to the little ones' left sat two full-grown cats. Both of them were watching the kits, their eyes filled with pride and love.

"I can't believe how adorable they are" Ravenpaw purred.

"Computing response…" the cyborg Barley mewed "Agree with mate."

Ravenpaw chuckled "I'm so happy, I never thought I'd get such a happy ending. By the way Barley, I've been wondering. If we're both boys how'd we make the kits?"

"Computing response...I replaced you for the first she-cat that came into a five-mile radius of the barn."

"Ah…"

The End :)

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Okay so I just looked it up and according to Deviant Art Ravenpaw is Barley's shota. If you don't know what that means then congratulations you're not going to hell.


End file.
